Considering a custom shirt to let assholes know; Today is NOT the Day

It’s really unfortunate that i’m feeling the need to get this shirt made. It should really never be a question to the balding  fuck who makes about 60k more a year than he’s worth that everything out of his sodasucking lips should not be a sarcastic quip or condescendingly dismissive remark. It only takes one of those to push a guy who’s having a shitty day far enough to stroll calmly out to his trunk, extract the largest wrench from his ratchet set and return to the office to smash the fatass’ face into a fine red pulp.

I get that you are edgy brah….But it starts to wear thin…..oh about 9 seconds into the realization that YOU ARE ALWAYS LIKE THAT. Fuck you for getting paid in excess of 50$ an hour to work a cushy desk job and STILL having a chip on your shoulder. Oh wait that’s a dorito…..my mistake.  If you are sooooo jaded from working at a place WHERE YOU MAKE GREAT MONEY TO DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE, then fucking quit. But so help me, take it out on me one more time, and i’m going to hook your hands up to a car battery just long enough so you lose the fine motor skills you get paid so well for. Then you can enjoy finding another career as cushy as this one. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find something that capitalizes your other talent of being an asshole all day. Otherwise I think your remaining skillset qualifies you for many fine careers in janitorial and food services.

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One Response to “Considering a custom shirt to let assholes know; Today is NOT the Day”

  1. Damn right, man! I got your back on this one.

    Cutesy chutesy cynical shit can just stay out of my face, even though I am quite a cynic, myself. I would wear your version of the shirt, but not the original by any means.

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